Monthly Archives: March 2012

spread this joy

i can see for miles
                         forever
my eyes finally opened
                    forever closed
i can feel the earth around me
               consuming Earth
i want to fly
            fly alone in the darkness
invincible is how i feel
         you will never change
i will fly to the tallest peak in the ocean
      your thoughts travel empty
i will spread this joy to everyone i meet
  your will is as of death, and he wishes you
  to spread this joy


the cheapest plan

he never wanted to die
so he signed up for the
cheapest reincarnation
it was the only one he
had enough karma to get
and so he smiled everyday
because he knew he was
going to die and come back
instantly

the day came, he said goodbye
and winked as he passed,
serene smile hung awkwardly

he opened his button eyes
moved his gloved hands
and there was a crinkle sound
he sat up
and he felt some of his stuffing
fall out

he was aware of every fiber of straw,
and his clothes felt similar to skin
but not quite
and he looked around the corn field
and the cross his body had hung
which bits of his straw hung from

and he yelled “What the fuck?”
up at the sky but nothing came out


the bowl in the destroyed kitchen

the bowl of tomatoes was gross
it was slimy looking and it looked
nothing like tomatoes but
it smelled like tomatoes and the
recipe next to the bowl in the
destroyed kitchen said
‘self crushing tomatoes’

i’ve seen crime scenes that can
turn a rookie’s stomach into a
projectile vomiting machine
gruesome is too kind a word
for the harsh reality of
massacres like this

but it’s been years since my stomach turned
this wasn’t a human murderer
and it’s been years since we thought we took
care of that ‘problem’

monstrous scratches
gashes i guess i’d call them
out of the brand name marble flooring
and counters, and the dark hardwood cabinets
progressively more bloody

it’s like the rage increased the closer
the monster got to the tomatoes
but there was no blood around
the tomatoes

three family members decapitated
their monitoring package says it
happened in the same moment
and they were all running away
from the tomatoes in this bowl

perhaps this is a New Guardian,
a breed we haven’t awoken before
but why now? why this family?
looks like i’ll be called to lead
another crusade against them
poor devils

crushed tomatoes

image titled "Self crushed tomatoes" by suanie on flickr


house the size of a gazebo

my house was perfect
they said it was the size of a gazebo
but i always thought it was
perfect
white paint, blue trim
who ever heard of a gazebo with blue trim?

i asked the city if i could
paint the fire hydrant
next to my house
and they told me specific
colors only, but
white and blue were two of them
that day made me so happy

those rich bastards at the bank
one day called and said
i owed them money
i’m a leprechaun, and a squatter
i knew i owed no one money
and i also knew i could give them
more gold and wealth than they had
every dreamed of in their greedy bastard heads

i decided to play a game
my favorite kind of game
with my gold on one side
and their karma on the other

i think they have a contract with
one of the demons from the fifth circle
usually those are lawyers
and they guessed my true nature
i can’t stay on property
but they also wanted their karma
greedy bastards
so i can rent the place and visit to collect
that crap paper ‘money’

i’ve seen lots of monsters, crooks, and bastards
in my time, but when you’re contracted with demons
lawyer demons from the fifth circle
you’ve topped my scary list

small boarded up house, with a tiny for rent sign above the porch, grass and trees in background, blue and white fire hydrant in foreground

image titled "For rent" by Whatknot on flickr


The Lighthouse

the Lighthouse has always
guided our community during storms
of weather and economy and soul
we gather around it on fine Sundays
and the preacher, who is also the
Lighthouse protector
he gives sermons about the eternal hope
and the Light of God guiding us
just like the Lighthouse does

it was overcast, and lightening struck the town
it had taken three homes and two busy
businesses, people had died
the community rallied around the Lighthouse
and the preacher came out as he does on Sundays
but this time he was in red robes
and he eyes glowed red
and he turned on the Lighthouse
and the light it shown into the night was red
and suddenly we all were hungry
and suddenly my son looked tasty
and the rest of the night was spent
feasting


Hunter

this lamppost shall be her doom
she will think I take her on a late night
carriage ride for romance, and I will know it is
her last moments
she does not know that I can easily crush her skull
with my bare hand, nor does she know I could easily
hug her to death, in half if I so wished
but I don’t want to get my hands bloody
I will use this lamppost and skewer her

I will wine and dine her, give her
whatever she wants for her last meal
and then I can sacrifice ‘a woman in love’
also I’m pretty sure she is a virgin
you can’t demand that information
like you were once able to

look at her smile across the table at me
such breathtaking innocence
she is truly a lovely specimen of the
human breeding programs

I can hardly wait, this sacrifice
will solidify my place in the Order
wait, my stregnth is slipping away…
how?… what is happening… I need to remain calm

she leaned in to kiss me, and now I can’t move
she has a Tyrn’pylp in her hand, and she knows
how can she know?

I am the All Seeing, and you will make the perfect
sacrifice to the Justice of the Anti-Order.

the last moments of his eternal life
he spent dreaming of his massacres


used horse salesman

this horse is perfect for you, sir
it becomes a reflection of your soul
the moment you purchase it
he’s a bitch to ride, but it’s a good way to see
if you’ll be able to get into Heaven

older gents usually come round and ask to rent him
renting doesn’t matter
you must own him, and you’ll notice he looks
like a decent sort of horse right now, since I own him
except his eyes appear a bit blank…
everyone has flaws i suppose

it’sa paltry sum when you consider the reward
of going to your death knowing if Heaven waits for you
or if there is a bit of work that must be done first
of course i can’t speak of particulars, since i don’t know
for sure until you buy it what will happen and
i wouldn’t want to insult anyone

let’s just say there is a wide range of possibilities
for the transformation, and if Heaven is ready for you
then he is ride-able, and if you aren’t quite ready for Heaven
then he might bite your arm off… not that that particular
event has happened mind you

contractually he will return to this yard after you are done
which means when you pass or when you’re ready to sell him back
of course he is used goods to me, and i have no use for knowing
if Heaven is ready for me as I already know,
so I won’t be giving you as much as you pay me for him
but the good news is if you sell him back right away
and need to see if there is a change later,
he is used goods to you too

you’ll take ‘im?
yes, cash only and here is a receipt with the fine print
okay… oh my, he’s never grown those spiked horns before and
wow he has never grown flaming hooves or bled tears before
or turned quite that shade of pure black
you’d better step away from him sir!
sir? you… you’re Him? the end times have come then?
Thank you for the job Mr. War,
may my service be remembered eternally