Even when I was little, people would avoid me when I felt angry. Adults would glance at me, and do a double-take. Part of me enjoyed it, the power I exuded. I didn’t understand it, I just knew I was mad and everyone seemed to know I was mad and leave me alone.
I was going threw her journal, and found this old photo tucked into one of the earliest pages. It’s hereditary. No one told me, no one explained. They let me grow up in ignorance, just like they had. This hurts and confuses me, even after all these years. I think this image was the first time it had been caught on film. Maybe I’m having grandiose memories, but I think this maybe the first it’s caught. My family called it the 1000 yard stare, like your anger could look through a person, past them.
As I aged, into pre-adulthood, then into a young lady, that stare would appear whenever I was extremely angry. I couldn’t replicate it, and I couldn’t control it. I forced myself to be a slow-to-anger type person, just to avoid feeling the fear of others when I would get angry. Somehow it made those moments when my anger did show more potent. Because I hardly ever got angry, when I showed my anger people responded doubly so.
Then, on my wedding day, it happened. Something inside me broke free midst all the anxiety and excitement, something that should have never existed. Everyone died that day, including the best part of me. I was innocent until that day, and there was no more innocence left for anyone after that.
This picture was the first image of anger, of the first person in history, to manifest sight-killing powers. Once it hit the news, the power manifested all over the world like drought dry prairie grass waiting for a wildfire. Children killed classmates, pets killed owners, soldiers in peacetime truly accidentally killed fellow soldiers, it was mayhem. The whole world went mad, and I was the leader, I was the single broken spark that burned the world to a halt.
This image of my stare, should be burned too.